After coming back from Haramain I said to myself I'd post new entries. But soon after that I was stuck with Electives (Aikido for some of us), overlapped with the new batch's Orientation and without a break, the start of 3rd Year.
Settling into the hospital setting, settling the house issues (which hasn't been settled yet, we still don't have internet connection at home), going back to KL almost every week just to do laundry, weddings invitations, extra classes in the hospital on Saturdays... With a blink of an eye it's already almost 2 months of Internal Medicine and Eid will be in a few days... Our exams too is just around the corner (the week after raya week that is)
Past 2 months, I guess it was kind of a journey. Towards the end, we didn't want to leave Internal Medicine; especially when you get patients like Opah and 'Tok and having specialists and consultants who were more than willing to teach us.
There are a few things I realized during this posting, especially yesterday when I asked one of the specialists regarding one patient I was assigned to; who had been transferred to ICU-
people always say doctors deal with patients' lives, it's heavy responsibilities hence every decision made should be done carefully.
That kind of heavy responsibility, you won't feel it until you deal with it.
So yesterday I kept on asking myself, is this the right line for me? Can I hold this much of responsibilities?
Then I remembered Prof was saying taqwa plays a role in our decision... We wouldn't know if our decision will be the right decision or not... but with taqwa, insyaAllah we would be guided to make a better decision.
I still feel there's something heavy being put on my shoulder as I take a step further now however...